Cyborg babies - an idea which has come of it's time.

Sitting on a long bus journey today, I had the joy of a mother on the bus whose baby was obviously tired, and possibly teething.  Let's up the ante; it is summer in Edinburgh, so naturally our dear local bus company have decided to turn the heating on on all the buses.  To say this little one was not happy would be an understatement, and she was letting the entire bus know about it.

No disparagement to the wee soul, who was obviously in some sort of discomfort, but a thought struck me.  In our modern age we already have a great deal of technology which can be implanted into humans to make enhance and save lives.  The day of the bionic human has been with us for quite a while now.  Surely it is time to take that technology further - and fit babies with volume controls.

Before anyone throws their hands up in horror at what a cruel brute I am, I would urge parents to think of the advantages.  Apart from quietening down a crying baby, as the children grow, volume controls would be worth their weight in gold to silence the chants of "Are we there yet?", and continually asking the question "Why?" to every statement.  I'm sure that my girl, Sheila, would agree with me that as the kids reach their teens volume controls would be invaluable, to either turn up the volume to make sense of their mumbling, or mute them completely when they start whining or throwing a strop.

Yes folks, I am of course joking.  It is well seeing that I am not a parent, nor was I ever cut out to be one.

(Composite picture by myself made from images found on Wikimedia Commons)