On 4
April, that darling journal of the conservative Christian English
right, the Daily Telegraph, reported that the English National
Trust and Cadbury, had dropped the word "Easter" from their
egg hunts. These are annual events ran by the NT, and the National
Trust for Scotland, and the confectionery manufacturer.
Needless
to say, this, this blasphemy had many English 'Christians' - most of
whom probably rarely see the inside a church between getting
sprinkled and being buried - up in arms. Even among the genuine
Christians there was outrage. John Sentamu, Archbishop of York,
stated that the dropping of the word Easter from the hunt was
tantamount to "spitting on the grave" of Cadbury's founder,
John Cadbury - more of which later. Another Church of England
spokesman stated "This marketing campaign not only does a
disservice to the Cadburys but also highlights the folly in
airbrushing faith from Easter."
Paul
Bickley of the thinktank on religion and society, Theos, said
"Religion is being marginalised, but not by political
correctness or multiculturalism gone mad but by corporate culture.
For Cadbury, it’s about selling chocolate. But it’s the job of
the church, not Cadbury, to speak about the message and significance
of Easter."
There
were even calls to boycott Cadbury. Yeah, best of luck with
boycotting one of the largest confectionery manufacturers not just in
the UK, but the world.
Then
Theresa May decided to weigh in. En-route from Jordan to Saudi
Arabia, the UK Prime Minister told ITV News "I'm not just a
vicar's daughter - I'm a member of the National Trust as well. I
think the stance they have taken is absolutely ridiculous. I don't
know what they are thinking about frankly. Easter's very important...
It's a very important festival for the Christian faith for millions
across the world."
The
NT had indeed omitted the magical word from their website page for
the hunt, which to placate the faithful, they added on 5 April. But
the one thing neither the NT nor Cadbury's had done was erase the
word "Easter" altogether. The NT said in a statement "It’s
nonsense to suggest the National Trust is downplaying the
significance of Easter. Nothing could be further from the truth. A
casual glance at our website will see dozens of references to Easter
throughout."
This
is true. Going to the NT website page for the egg hunts alone, and
leaving out the headline, I counted the word "Easter" 11
times.
On
the Cadbury web page for the events - which can be found at
easter.cadbury.co.uk - one is hit in the face with the big cheery
words "Enjoy Easter Fun". Added to that the first page of
that web page has the word "Easter" another 13 times.
So,
it seems someone, probably some God-botherer, at the Torygraph went
to the NT's web page, didn't see the word "Easter"
emblazoned across it, immediately blew a gasket and decided to run a
non-story of fake news, condemning an English national charity who do
tireless and absolutely vital work in protecting green space and
wildlife (that probably sounds way too hippy for the Torygraph
readership).
The
Telegraph won't back down, despite the fact they should. They were
claiming a 'victory' after the NT added the word "Easter"
to their web page headline. But if it is a victory it is a cathartic
one, for they have made complete asses of themselves, and in doing so
have caused their beloved Tory Prime Minister make herself look
equally foolish (not that that is at all difficult).
Tim
Farron, leader of the Liberal-Democrat Party and himself a committed
Christian, could not resist giving a press statement containing some
absolutely shocking puns:
"Theresa
May and Jeremy Corbyn have got egg on their faces today. They both
scrambled out eggs-traordinary statements criticising Cadbury's and
the National Trust for something they haven't actually done.
"This
is a eggs-tremely big distraction. I think we all feel poached by
this whole sorry saga, but none of us more than Cadbury's and the
National Trust, who have done nothing wrong and are right to feel
egg-rieved by the criticism they have received."
Okay,
that's enough, Tim. You're cracking me up...
Labour
leader Jeremy Corbyn for his part said "It upsets me because I
don’t think Cadbury should take over the name of Easter...
...commercialisation gone a bit too far." Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz! A
better soporific than Cadbury's Hot Chocolate.
I
for one am loving all this faux Christian outrage. And it is faux,
for if there is one thing that 'Easter' is not, it is Christian.
What
we now celebrate as Easter was allegedly the
Pagan festival surrounding the Vernal (Spring) Equinox, celebrating
the Saxon Goddess of Spring, Ēostre. She herself came from the
Germanic Istara, but was not as some misinformed New Agers would have
you believe, in any way connected to Ishtar. The name Istara itself
comes from the Proto-Germanic "austrōn", meaning "dawn".
There
is a modern mythology of Ēostre having a hare as her consort. In
fact, older mythology Ēostre's "familiar". Ēostre's
consort was our old friend, the oldest folklore figure in human
history, the Green Man.
There
is another tale told by some Wiccans and New Agers of Hare not having
a gift to present to Ēostre for the Spring Festival. Being very
poor, he went through his cupboards, and found a single egg. He
carefully decorated it and took to the Festival. All the other
animals brought gifts of gold, silver, and jewels. Hare was last,
and he ashamedly presented Ēostre with the egg. Knowing that Hare
was very poor, and could have eaten the egg for himself, Ēostre was
touched by this gift most of all, and made Hare her special animal.
Very
sweet, very moving - and probably much more modern than Teutonic
Pagan mythology, I'm afraid.
But
there are various folklore tales of hares and rabbits associated with
Ēostre / Istara, including egg-laying hares or rabbits, and this is
where the Easter Rabbit comes from. And if there are rabbits laying
eggs, then frankly GM foods have gone way too far. Damn you,
Monsanto!
As a
kid, I was told by my mum that the significance of eggs at Easter was
that it represented the rolling away of the stone from the tomb of
Christ, hence why we rolled eggs (or at least we used to - you never
see that nowadays). In fact, the eggs were originally an
all-too-obvious symbol of fertility, associated with the Pagan Spring
celebrations. Then Christianity hit town, and the church forbade the
consumption during Lent. So it was, they became associated with the
festival of Christ's resurrection, which appropriated the old Pagan festival, which became Anglicised into "Easter".
It
is suggested that Christians first decorated eggs as symbols of the
resurrection, to be eaten after the fast of Lent. Given that most
people were dirt poor, it is probably far more likely that it was a way of
identifying 'your' egg; a way of saying "This is Harry's egg.
Paws off." And given the Lent period, if Harry really
wants his six-week-old egg that much, he's more than welcome to it. It was probably
from these days that egg-rolling originated but it was not
popularised as a children's event until the 19th century, and egg
hunts only became really popular in the latter 20th century
It
was later, once the UK and other places were well and truly Christian
that eggs were made from cardboard or other materials, filled with
small gifts. This tradition continued and eventually evolved into
the fabulously jewelled Imperial Eggs, presented by Fabergé to the
Russian royal family. Solid chocolate eggs first appeared in France
in the 19th century, quickly followed by Cadbury's and other
manufacturers in the UK. The first hollow eggs did not appear until
many decades later, and the first Cadbury Creme Eggs were produced in
the 1920s.
We
therefore see that the word "Easter" and the bunny and the
eggs associated with it, have about as much to do with Christianity
as Cadbury's lactose-based, sugar-laden confectionery with a hint of
cocoa has to do with real chocolate.
For
Theresa May, the Archbishop of York, the Daily Telegraph, and various
other English Christians to get their knickers in a knot over the
word "Easter" being dropped from their
"Christian" festival, they really ought to cool down a bit. For if
anything, surely a 'true Christian' would disassociate themselves
from 'putting other gods' before theirs? Hmm.
Which
brings me back to John Cadbury, which I did promise more of. Yes,
John Cadbury himself was indeed a very committed and pious Christian.
He was in fact a member of the Society of Friends, also known as
Quakers. The Quakers of his time did not in fact recognise or
celebrate the accepted Christian festivals, including Easter.
Esther
McConnell (whose name, unlike Easter, comes from Ishtar), great-great-great-great-granddaughter of John Cadbury
stated "as a Quaker, he didn't celebrate Easter... ...He
believed that every day is equally sacred and, back then, this was
expressed by not marking festivals. I am glad to see that Cadbury and
the National Trust are welcoming those of 'all faiths and none' to
their event regardless of whether they call it Easter or not."
Well
said, Esther. For there is another truth about the Society of
Friends; unlike so many other 'Christians', especially those quick to
condemn the National Trust and Cadbury without checking the facts
first, the Quakers - nicest of all the Christian denominations
and whom many others could learn a great deal from - express their faith in acceptance
and forgiveness (even as an atheist I have enormous respect for the Quakers). You know? Like that bloke wot they nailed to a
cross allegedly taught all of his followers - including Theresa May and Torygraph readers - to do.
Finally,
I find it highly amusing that at time of writing, the National Trust
for Scotland Egg Hunt web page has NOT added the word "Easter"
to their headline, and the word only appears once on the page.
Typical
bloody fire-and-brimstone Scotland; "We'll hae none o' yir
pagan idolatry here."
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